MY YESTERDAY, OH! HOW YOU SHAPE ME

I am not me but what I have seen and been through
I have grown up shaped by my immediate environment
I destroy my gifts, I loose my opportunities not that I will to
I do not know peace, I do not cherish love just because of you
Oh my yesterday how you destroy me how you blight my future

That I do not know how to love and care for you my love
Relating with you am trying to fix what was wrong with my mum
She was weak and quiet, humble and sad, she never cared for me
That am not married to you but a damaged image of her
Oh my yesterday how you destroy me how you wreck my future

You pick your call and excuse yourself to answer it
That I take it as you hiding stuff, are you cheating?
Every time I saw it with her, she cheated using her phone
The best I can act is as dad get angry bitter and stay alone
Oh my yesterday how you destroy me how you ruin my future

I did not mean to cheat, He did it to mum very openly
I do not know the perfection of love or relationship or family
I am trying to say am damaged and my yesterday haunt me
How best can I act? I’m trying to find myself in all these bad weights
Oh my yesterday how you destroy me how you cripple my future

I shout so often and you run away not that you want to
But every time he raised his voice he hit your mum
She cried a lot and it’s all you learned to shut up and not feel
It affects us to our bones that we are not us but shells of them
Oh my yesterday how you destroy me how you sabotage my future

I Get angry so easily, I had been taught that’s the culture
I can’t intellectually sit discuss and solve any issues
I want to be the head and dictate always getting what I want
It is selfish I know but it’s all he did as a husband and a father
Oh my yesterday how you destroy me how you impair my future

All this anger that makes me hit you is from my yesterday
I was a cute humble baby boy, I never knew I would be this man
Him hitting her is an image I permanently have in mind
It’s what my mind loads and I hit you my love my flesh
Oh my yesterday how you destroy me how you defile my future

Before you, I was shaped to know women as sex objects
One after another so long as they could make money
I never knew emotion or how to enjoy a relationship
Partying, fast life, looking cool and an empty brain I was
Oh my yesterday how you destroy me how you deface my future

Now am with you I see this passionate lover all mine
Am glad but my yesterday haunts me like a devil
Always wishing for a taste of what has passed
It drains my energy every time am not with you
Oh my yesterday how you destroy me how you disfigure my future

Am sick my vision is not clear, my dreams are all dark
We do not wish each other this kind of life we deserve better
Together let us uproot all our sufferings from our yesterday
Together we can form a strong bond of Love in a family
Life Love Family can be all happy when we choose it to be

I cannot promise perfection to you in this life
I can promise to always be there for you
To always love and care for you in this life
Life Love Family can be all happy when we choose it to be

I know you will not let me down, your guidance I need
I am the weak link in this chain and we can only be as strong
Peace I ask of you, a peace of mind that help to solve life
Love me, always love me it is what I need to overcome Yesterday