Not Ready

Am not ready for goodness
To blessed with riches
I will not be humble
Pride will kill me
Am not ready

That I miss other blessings
Yes, am still under construction
There are things am not ready for
Responsibilities I cannot fully comprehend
Shelled in waiting for a time but it does not stop

I am not worthy of gold
For am not a man fine as gold
Still down in my core cant come out
Am mined but still need work
Going through the furnace

Am not ready to be a dad
But I have sex often
I have potential but am scared I will fail
To have a child is not for me
I cannot have a heritage now

Am not ready to be a husband
I can love but my weaknesses will always show
I do not have the wisdom to teach and guide
I cannot constantly provide for a family
I want to be alone and have fun
Am not one to commit, am selfish

Am not ready to be a mother
And have one permanent being of mine
Its scary, am not ready for the pain
Am not ready for my breasts to squash
Am not ready to lose my beautiful physique

For a being who will want my attention all day
For a being I will always carry around
Who will cause me pain, no I want to still be me
I want to look glamorous and party all night

Am not ready for true love
I do not believe it, I cannot oblige
I want fun, adventure, and thrill
Have more than one person to pay my bills
Travel the world and be free to do whatever

Am not ready to be a good friend
I want to say what I want when I want
To be there for only me and care for me
To owe no one anything anytime

Am I ready to be holy or good?
This world is full of complications
Of good and bad, evil and sin
What awaits me then?

Am not ready to die, Am not
I have not accomplished anything
Am feeling I have a lot to do still
With no energy in my old days
I wasted my youth
What awaits me then?