Defining

I want peace,
Sometimes means not interacting with life,
But I do not want death,
I think, what if I had no part to play.

But the silence I need,
Only death can provide,
To not think nor be troubled,
Not to recall my past.

To forget every wrong step,
To not live the consequences,
How peaceful can this be?
And still be a memory to love.

It is the only thing keeping me going,
I am alive for them than love me,
That someone is counting on me to be alive,
But between good and evil I am weighed down.

The day light is darker than the night,
I feel better asleep and not dreaming,
When the sun comes up,
It awakens troubles.

My path has never been this narrow,
I am not aware what I am capable of,
I wish to fall off the string of life,
I feel worse as worthy friends go and I am still standing.

What it feels inside me,
Is not known to me,
All I have done has got me here.