Regret

At this point I see no meaning for pride,
I wonder of that persona who cost me,
And how stupid he was to make such decisions,
And why I regret now and it was me.

I ask why I lost my humility,
I cry to turn back time so I could not be here now,
I wonder why I lost my faith and morals,
I search for myself but all I see is regret.

I have lost more than I planned to achieve,
I have no worth when I stand before truth,
I have no esteem before my peers,
I lean back and cover myself on a lie.

I put up that smile for the camera,
But my health is lost with my regret,
I speak of wisdom and learn but I come out as a fool,
I look within and see all the things I could have done better.

The filth and corruption I bear,
Like bad air chokes my lungs,
I long to live among the faithful,
But judgment scares me to stay alone.

I wonder how to learn from these mistakes?
How can I let go of me who hurt me?
A skeleton of broken bones,
I am lost in regret.

I understand life is about choices,
Some haunt us for a life time.
And we are what we choose to be.