Lord, how do I get to you?
How do I feel your presence?
When My mind wanders all over?
I worry about today and what I do not have.
I know am broken but I cannot accept it.
I am a thief, a liar not a drunkard but a voluptuary,
My eyes are not innocent.
My flesh thirst for promiscuity.
My mind is strengthened in sin and how to sin,
I am not worthy to lead anyone to you,
I am not honest to myself,
My dark heart is known to you.
I act pure for the humans but rotten is my existence.
How do I find my higher purpose?
How do I step up and be next to you?
You are always next to me.
The world cannot let me go,
Where do I get the strength?
I cannot focus on you, I cannot pray and believe.
How do I figure myself out?
When I think about how;
I have crucified you again and again,
Of how I have betrayed your name,
Of how a curse I have been when all you did is bless me.
Of how I have continuously run away from you.
Of your love for sinners like me.
I am weighed down, my filth is ever before me,
How can I face you is my biggest obstacle,
How can I forget is my major worry,
How can I be righteous is my greatest fear.
If I were You, I would have given up on me,
I would have branded me beyond repair,
I would have labeled me a lost course,
But somehow You are always here.
“I am the only one who says I am fine but I am not am broken,
And when it is out of control I say it is under control but it’s not,
And You know it, I do not know why it’s so hard to admit it,
When being honest its the only way to fix,
There is no failure, no-fault, there is no sin You don’t already know.
So let the truth be told.” Matthew West.