Selfish Lover

A desperado of your path,
A constant loved pain.
An assassin of dreams,
A wrecker at my best.

My words never meant anything,
I was after what I wanted.
My pleasure comes first,
My pride is all my glory.

I own you fully but I can apportion me.
I found you all pure and precious,
What I have made of you is disgraceful,
I lied and you trusted me with your life.

Now all you see around you is fear,
All you feel are scars of pain,
No assurance is permanent,
Worse is we are blood bound.

I never knew I could be a sinister,
A creator of what you have become,
A mother of pain and regret,
A cause of suspicion and doubt.

If only I could take back time and undo,
My disrespect and pride,
Undo the worst of things I said,
Undo my lies and love you right.

Set you free of the torment I caused,
Build a trust you can always rely on,
Create in us one mind with experience,
And wait for you no matter the time it took.

It’s not that I never said sorry,
But you cannot believe it is all safe.
Endlessly on the look and ready to defend yourself,
Ready to give up, dreaming of the past drama,

This is my realization of what my past is,
I promise to always be true and open.
I’m constantly on the clock to liberate us,
This is my life’s purpose.

I pray to God for strength,
To overcome selfish desires,
To have a pure and clean heart,
And to reciprocate to your true love and honesty.