HEARTBEAT

There is a heart beat,
Known to me from my recent past,
It is strong and feels like my heart cracks,
It’s a force that exhaust all my energy.

Triggered by a thought,
Of the unknown,
Of regret and pain,
Of deprivation and living.

These moments,
I cannot stand,
My dreams shutter,
With no purpose to live.

Fear is my reality,
I cannot do good,
The evil I love has also escaped me,
I am left empty with no spirit.

My calculations,
But all options are out of my control,
How am I to prepare for what I do not know?
Fear is my reality.

A heart holding on not to crack its flesh.