This letter is of my distress, deep and invisible but ferocious like ocean currents.
In this heat I barely formulate my belief for You to come again.
Please listen in as if my words are golden of applause.
My life requires your attentiveness which is part You.
Close to my heart You are as it beats faintly.
This same heart is broken from grief and sin, these make it hard to open its door You.
Nevertheless, You knock at its door but I let you in but with limited control.
This is no news because You are omnipresent.
I am imperfect, my flesh is toxic and ashen.
I read of Your heroic healing power of unspoken diseases on earth.
I know when You come again there will be no sorrow and You will wipe away all tears.
But my sickness cannot wait, my affliction and terror are continuously present.
Today My Lord, I am suffering sitting on an uncontrollable furnace.
Imagine the loneliness fueling my nightmares after my family ran from me.
How can I joyfully wait for Your second coming?
Put out this flickering flames devouring my malnourished life.
I lay exposed at your alter Lord.
See and feel my mystery and wretchedness.
Been around hospitals, the corridors are stuffy and the air is bleach.
Here are the chronic bills I could not pay.
My sick body is unemployable, not worthy of grace but from You.
Branded on poverty, a curse of this fallen world.
Always resting my head on my hands, heavy dilemmas weighing me down.
Come now Lord be my fortress, my rock, my refuge and my salvation.
Ill, unwanted, homeless, in debt and unemployed.
My tainted faith cannot have an assurance of what I cannot see.
What can You do for me now?
My life is not perfect.
I am on the verge of giving up.
All these eat and tear me apart, emptiness.
That I am not worthy of love.
Jesus Love me today.
I am unsteady and tempted
Fill my empty soul.